Lonely and looking for a man

Dear Pastor,

I have written to you already about finding a male partner or friend. However, I did not receive a response.

I am a 62-year-old Christian female. I am 5 ft 6 inches, weighing 280lb and of dark complexion. I have been trying to get a male friend online but it's not working out.

The first time I wrote to you regarding a male partner who I met online, you responded and I took your kind words of encouragement.

I have three grown daughters who are living their lives and tending to their families and have no time for a friendship with me. I feel lonely sometimes; I have nobody to talk to, as it has been 10 years since the passing of my late husband. I am seeking a Christian-minded male companion between the ages of 48-76 years old. Is there some way that you can help me?

Initial withheld

Dear Writer,

I am always reluctant to publish letters from people who are looking for partners. Many of the men who write do not speak the truth.

Years ago, a young lady wrote to me, and her letter was published. A man contacted the Gleaner Company, offering to assist her. The company reached out to me, and I hesitated to give them her information. However, a lady at the company persuaded me to share it, and I did. Unfortunately, the young man was dishonest from the start. His only intention was to pursue an intimate relationship with the girl, which he did -- and he got her pregnant. She later wrote to me and shared what had happened. That experience taught me a lesson: I would never do that again.

On the Dear Pastor show, there was a regular caller who called almost every night, begging me to help him find a woman. He got the information, but the woman later discovered that he was a liar. He was dishonest, and when I mentioned it on the show, he never called again.

Another popular caller claimed he was looking for a wife. A young lady, a virgin, obtained her father's permission to meet him -- and he took advantage of her. She confided in me afterwards. Some of these men simply cannot be trusted. So, when I say "no more", I mean it. Yet, here I am, publishing your letter.

You are 62 years old and a Christian. I believe you can handle yourself. However, I have some observations. At 62, you should be in a good financial position. Your letter mentions that you are looking for companionship, but nothing else.

I also need to be honest with you about your weight. You are 5ft 6inches and 280lb, which is significantly above a healthy range.

Perhaps your weight is contributing to the difficulty in finding a partner. I say this not to insult you, but to help you.

Another mistake you are making is that you are seeking a Christian-minded man. If you are a genuine Christian, you should not be seeking a Christian-minded man; the man should be a Christian, period. When a person is Christian-minded, he is not a Christian. Men talk about Christian-minded to fool women.

A so-called 'Christian-minded' man may allow a woman to attend church, but he will not be fully committed to living a Christian life. If you are a Christian, become very active in your church -- volunteer your time and participate in social work. I trust that the good Lord will guide you to a genuine, God-fearing man, and I pray that 2026 brings you joy and happiness.

Pastor